Twelve years have passed since the last morning I saw my son’s beautiful smile. Twelve years since I kissed his soft cheeks or felt his little arms wrap around my neck. I had no idea that day would be the final time I would hear his laugh, listen to his tiny voice call me mommy, or watch his eyes sparkle with curiosity and joy.
I remember everything about him. How he could only fall asleep if I lay beside him, letting his small hand rest on my cheek. How I would whisper “I love you” after he drifted off. How much he adored his big sister. How every animal fascinated him, especially turtles. He had a gentle soul that felt almost too kind for this world.
There is not a day that my heart does not ache from missing him. Not a moment I don’t wonder who he would be today. Losing Kyle was like being dropped into a world of pain beyond anything I ever imagined. If the scars on my heart were visible, people would gasp. Instead those scars live deep inside me, invisible to all but those who know my story.
Over time I learned there is no such thing as getting over this kind of loss. You don’t “move on”. You learn to contain it. You pack it into a burning box inside your chest and keep the lid down so you can function. But sometimes the lid slips. A song, a familiar smell, a sudden memory and the fire rushes back. I carry that pain with me every day of my life until the day I can hold my son again.
What hurts most is knowing it was preventable. One simple choice could have saved him. I did not know the dangers of booster seats for toddlers. No one warned me. Had he been in a proper five point harness, he would still be here. I would have twelve years of memories instead of twelve years of grief.
Kyle’s death was the result of a preventable car accident. He was in a booster seat that wasn’t suited for his age and size. One small, overlooked detail a proper five-point harness could have saved his life. Instead, a single mistake took him from me forever.
I think about this every day. I imagine what he would look like as a teenager, how tall he would be, what he would love, who he would become. That future was taken from him and from me by a single mistake.
This is why I speak out. This is why I will never stop.
Car accidents remain the leading cause of death for children. Studies show that eighty to ninety percent of car seats are used incorrectly. That means thousands of children are riding in ways that put their lives at risk. We raise awareness about so many dangers but rarely talk about the one that harms the most children. With the right information and proper car seat usage, many of these deaths can be prevented.
I have lost friendships because I’ve corrected unsafe car seat use. People get offended. But staying silent is not something I can live with. If someone had spoken up for me, my son would still be alive. His life would not have ended at the age when he still needed me to lie beside him at night.
So I share Kyle’s story. Not to reopen wounds but to prevent new ones. Car seat safety is not a parenting preference. It is physics. It is facts. It is life or death.
If you have children or know someone who does, please learn the correct guidelines. Share them. Speak up when you see something unsafe. You could be the voice that saves a child’s life.
Kyle deserved a future. Other children do too. Together we can change the way families think about car seat safety and prevent more heartbreak.
This is my mission. This is Kyle’s legacy.